


Chapstick

by fellasisitgay91219



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Baz is a dumbass, Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Not Beta Read, Simon is too, Watford (Simon Snow), and so in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:42:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27590860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fellasisitgay91219/pseuds/fellasisitgay91219
Summary: simon snow’s lips were always chappedloosely based off of the song Chapstick by Hippo Campus
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 8
Kudos: 76





	Chapstick

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after waking up to put some chapstick on. It’s my first time writing fan fic so hopefully it’s okay!

**baz**

snow’s lips were always chapped and it was driving baz off the walls.

sometimes when he caught simon and agatha kissing, he imagined her being put off by his chapped lips. if he turned away after spotting them, he could picture agatha pulling away and making a face at snow. “put some chapstick on.” she’d say irritably. “kissing you is like kissing sandpaper.” in his mind snow would look at her with those basic blue eyes and she would sigh in disgust and leave him.

except baz would look right back at them and they’d still be kissing.

it would probably be better if he didn’t watch them kiss. but he did. it made him sick to his stomach. he liked that feeling. it was better then being heartsick.

he was always heartsick.

at night he’d watch snow sleep, the moonlight turning his face bronze, like a statue that belonged in a museum. snow’s mouth would open and close. baz bet little puffs of air came out of it.

oh what he would give to breath in those puffs of air.

he would give up the world just to be that close to snow. if he could kiss those chapped lips… no. he couldn’t even imagine it happening in real life.

he fantasized about it, of course, he was a teenage boy, but they never felt realistic. he didn’t have enough experience to imagine snow’s probably expert kisses or… anything further. mostly he just imagined them staring at each other but in a cool, sexual tension way. not in the i-want-to-kill-you way they did already.

it was fine. he would die by snow’s hands and wasn’t that sexy? nothing more homoerotic then sticking your sword through another bloke’s chest.

they’d never kiss and baz would never get to feel those chapped lips against his own. he wouldn’t mind the chapped lips. they were snow’s and he loved everything about snow. he had never kissed anyone before but he doubted chapped lips would take away from kissing snow. agatha didn’t seem to mind.

he sighed and imagined snow breathing heavily, staring at baz with those blue eyes, pushing him to the wall, pressing those chapped lips to his, pulling away to say… “you absolute twat!”

baz startled. he had been day dreaming above his greek homework. he had finished it two hours ago but he liked to check for mistakes before turning it in (there were never any, he was just filling time)

he turned around and snow was standing in the doorway, fuming. that was another attractive trait. his scrunched up, angry face. and the smell of his magic when he was mad. everyone else was overwhelmed but baz… baz just wanted to bask in it.

(fellas is it gay to like the smell of another boys magic?)

he finally realized snow was mad at him and expected a response, so he quirked his eyebrow and asked, “what did i do this time, snow? make your girlfriend break up with you? make you look like a complete idiot? oh wait, you do those easily by yourself.”

snow snarled, his chapped lips pushing outwards. baz wanted to lick them moist.

“you... you... you absolute dick. agatha won’t talk to me and penny keeps on shaking her head at me and... and... and it’s your fault! you ruin everything in my life!”

baz stood up calmly and crossed his arms. “again, seems like you’ve done a top notch job of doing that yourself.”

then snow charged at him. crowley that made his insides blaze. snow pushed him (and subsequently the chair) against the desk. snow grabbed his shirt. baz swore he could feel the tips of snow’s fingertips against his skin.

he growled. “stop ruining my life with your… your… your deep gray eyes and smirks!”

baz stared snow down and then in one swift motion, grabbed his shoulders and turned them around so it was snow’s legs pressed against the table. snow looked so wild, his eyes blazing, his mouth in a sneer. even his beautiful hair was a mess, the curls sticking every which way. and of course, his lips were chapped.

“you should probably put some chapstick on your lips.” he said. wait. why did he say that.

snow looked equally confused. “wha… what?”

baz straightened and sighed. “your lips are chapped.”

snow was just staring at him blankly. “i… don’t have chapstick.”

baz felt like they were having an unspoken staring contest. it was fine by him. he could stare into those eyes for days. then snow glanced at his lips. baz’s heart stopped for a second and he wondered if snow was going to kiss him.

“are my lips really that chapped?” snow asked instead.

baz gave him a look.

snow bit his lip and baz wanted to smack him, tell him to stop doing that. “do you wear chapstick?” snow continued, still staring at baz’s lips.

“yes.” baz frowned. “it’s winter, lips get chapped.”

now simon was licking his lips. oh crowley, he must know what is was doing to baz. he was just playing with him now. snow licking his lips made baz want to do dirty things to him. baz almost wished snow wasn’t here now so he could imagine what he would do in peace.

“oh.” then snow sat on top of the chair and seemed lost in thought. baz just stood there, unsure what to do. should he leave? or continue the conversation? he missed their staring contest, now he was just looking at the floor.

finally he had an idea. it was a stupid, no good, bad idea. but it was better than just standing there.

“do you want to borrow my chapstick?” he asked.

snow looked up at him and his eyes were wide. sometimes baz imagined snow as a baby deer. all speckled and tawny and with wide, beautiful eyes.

“um.” snow said. baz regretted this. snow was going to say no. he was going to look at him in disgust. what straight boy offered another boy his chapstick? maybe one really secure in his masculinity. he didn’t have anyone to ask. neil and dev seemed head over heals with one another (even though neither one of them would admit it. even worse, they tried to act extra straight in front of one another. baz had watched them stare at each other while making out with girls during wavering woods party. it was ridiculous) and his father definitely wasn’t secure enough in his masculinity to share chapstick with another boy. plus he didn’t talk to his father about things like that. baz imagined himself walking up to malcom grimm-pitch and saying, “would you share chapstick with another man? or would you get freaked out and think it’s gay?”

did his father even use chapstick? maybe he was so hyper masculine that he would rather have chapped lips than smooth ones. oh crowley, was that the same with snow? had he insulted his straight cisgender maleness by offering some?

“i’ve never used chapstick before.” snow said quietly, breaking baz out of his trance. “but… if you’re still offering.”

baz blinked and turned away. then he turned back because he realized snow had basically asked him a question. “yes. your lips are a crime against humanity.”

then he grabbed his chapstick from the bathroom and held it out to snow. he thought about their first time meeting each other. snow had held his hand out, similarly to how baz was now. he hadn’t accepted it, not really. maybe snow wouldn’t either. instead snow gingerly took the chapstick and stared at it. “i don’t know what to do with this.”

“you don’t…?” baz was at a loss for words. he grabbed it out of snow’s hands, opened it and offered it back. “just wipe it on your lips. like wellbelove does with lipgloss.” snow still looked confused but he moved to wipe some onto the top of his finger. baz snatched it back.

“what are you doing, you imbecile?” snow just glared at him. “how would i know what to do?! it’s not like you gave me any real instructions!”

“you have a girlfriend! she wears makeup! i figured you’d seen her apply lipstick once or twice!”

they just stared at each other, breathing slightly heavier. then baz took the chapstick and applied it to snow’s lips.

this was gay. this was mighty gay. snow was just staring at him as he continued to apply chapstick to his lips. baz had no clue how much longer he could safely put it on him before snow realized it wasn’t doing anything. this was so gay and baz was so here for it. crowley.

finally he pulled away. they were still staring at each other. baz loved it. he hated it. he wanted to kiss that chapstick away. “now rub your lips together.” snow did. “all better now, little chosen on?”

snow smacked his arm but in a playful way. “shut up.” then, “do you want to break into the kitchen and get scones with me?”

baz gaped at him. he let his mouth hang open despite his better upbringing. because… snow wanted to go somewhere with him. snow wanted him… near his scones… his favorite thing in the world.

“sure.” baz said, and then as he freaked out inside, rubbed some chapstick onto his lips.

**simon**

simon had realized something. well he had realized two things. the first was that having not chapped lips was much better than having chapped lips. for one, it hurt a lot less. he kept rubbing his lips together and remarking silently how smooth they were. he wondered if it was more pleasant to eat scones when his lips were this smooth. that’s partly why he suggested that to baz. the other reason…

well he didn’t know exactly when he figured it out. earlier that afternoon he had gotten mad at agatha for staring at baz during lunch. afterwards he had asked her to talk. she had scrunched up her face. it was frustrating.

“can you not stare at baz?” he asked. penny would say this was not feminist of him. he knew that he didn’t own agatha, she was her own person and did her own things. but... well she said she loved him. and baz was trying to kill him. why should she be allowed to stare at someone who wanted to harm someone she loved?

agatha just scrunched up her face even more.

“i get that he’s nice to look at. he has those deep, beautiful gray eyes that look like peaceful rainy days. his hair looks so soft like feathers or clouds and when it curls… he’s really fit, i understand that. but he wants to kill me. if he didn’t, i would be fine with you staring at him. he has strong thighs and i bet his chest is all muscular… really, if he didn’t want to kill me, i’d be staring at him.”

“you already are.” she said.

“not the point. anyways, i don’t want to control you but… it hurts to see you staring at someone who actively wants to harm me.” there penny, he had thought, i think i communicated that pretty well.

“what color are my eyes?” she asked out of nowhere.

simon had to think. then he realized she was right in front of him and he looked.

“er uh, brown?”

agatha hadn’t talked to him since.

when he told penny she just sighed and patted his head all patronizing. he hated when she did that. he kept asking her what had happened but she wouldn’t explain. it made him, quite understandably angry. so he took it out on baz. because... well it was about baz right? agatha was mad he didn’t want her looking at baz.

then baz had commented on his lips. and simon had looked at baz’s lips.

they were really nice lips. all soft (from the chapstick) and thin. not exactly pink, but he bet if he bit them he could get them that color.

that’s around when he had his revelation. baz applying chapstick on his lips for what seemed like ages had helped too.

so he invited him to break in to get scones. miraculously, baz had agreed.

now they were walking side by side for the first time and simon couldn’t stop thinking about baz’s lips. he just wanted to kiss them, was that so hard?

yes. because baz hated him. and baz was probably straight. baz and his not chapped lips would go make out with agatha the second simon let him out of his view. so simon decided he would never let baz out of his eyesight. not even when he showered. now simon was thinking about baz showering and he blushed.

“do you do this often?” baz asked a bit awkwardly.

simon glanced at him. “what?”

baz fiddled with the chapstick. he somehow still had it. simon wondered how long it would take for his chapstick to fade away and if baz would reapply for him if he played dumb (yes of course he had seen people apply lipstick. baz fell for his idiot act far too often) “break into the kitchens.”

“oh.” simon wasn’t sure what else baz could have been asking. “no. i was just thinking…” oh god why did he say anything? baz wasn’t looking for an explanation. “i was thinking it would probably feel nicer to eat scones when my lips weren’t chapped.” baz scoffed but it ignited something inside of him. we get it, he told his body, you are gay for this boy.

“you know what else is better when your lips aren’t chapped?” he said. simon gaped. was baz bringing up kissing?

“kissing my ass because i’m going to get to the kitchen first!” and then baz was off, running across the courtyard.

“not if i can help it!” simon yelled after him and pushed off sprinting. baz won, but simon put up a mighty fight. “unfair…” simon gasped. “vampire abilities.”

baz just snorted. “please. i’m a footballer. i would be kicked off the team if i let some worthless chosen one beat me.” his words were mean but his tone was lighthearted. simon’s heart felt full and warm.

it turned out they didn’t need to sneak in. baz had a key so they just waltzed in like they owned the place. (baz practically did. before the mage his family had passed down headmaster for decades.) luckily there was a fresh batch of scones, so simon grabbed a plateful and sat down on the floor to munch away happily.

baz looked at him with disgust. “the floor is so… dirty.” simon looked up at him. annoyingly, his heart did a little dance. he ignored it. “i get it. you are too good for the floor.”

baz frowned at him. “well, yes.”

“right. if you are too good for the floor, you shouldn’t be standing on it.” baz’s face stayed cloudy for three seconds and then it broke. his smile, a real genuine smile, broke through and it was the most magnificent thing simon had ever seen.

“alright then. scoot over.” baz said and squatted next to him.

“that really worked?” simon asked, his mouth full of sour cherry scones.

baz rolled his eyes and tried to get comfortable. “no. your words mean nothing to me. i hate you. give me a scone.”

simon complied.

for awhile they just sat there and ate their scones. baz covered his mouth while he ate. but he was eating and that was enough for simon. (he hadn’t realized it, but seeing baz with an empty plate every night had been concerning him. he really had it bad, huh) it was nice. comfortable even. they weren’t talking, which meant no insults, playful or not. but they also weren’t glaring at each other or punching each other or pushing each other against any walls. (that was rather gay too, wasn’t it? simon should really take a step back from his life more often and view it objectively. did wonders for his world view.)

finally he finished the plate and glanced over at baz. he seemed deep in thought, his brow furrowed slightly. simon wanted to rub it slightly and kiss baz’s cheek. “can i have some more chapstick?” he asked instead.

baz looked up at him and there was a question in his eyes.

“i think you’ll need to apply it again.” simon said, his tone light and joking. “not sure if i caught how to the first time.”

baz pulled out the chapstick and leaned closer than what was necessary to apply it.

simon didn’t mind. he liked the smell of baz, cedar and bergamot. (he only knew that because of the label on baz’s soap.) then, what seemed to be the most sensual thing simon had ever experienced, baz applied the chapstick to his lips. slowly. while maintaining eye contact. simon wanted to knock it away and push him to the dirty kitchen floor.

instead he waited for baz to put it away and then asked, “can i kiss you?”

baz looked at him with darkened eyes and nodded, gulping as he did. simon grabbed his face and pressed their lips together. baz pushed back with the passion of someone who’d been wanting to for a very long time. simon thought it was the sexiest thing in the world.

**baz**

“come on, snow.”

simon groaned and rubbed his eyes. “how are you awake before me?”

baz ignored this question. the answer was that he had never fallen asleep. he had spent the night in snow’s arms, in his bed, inches away from his face. he wasn’t about to pass up that opportunity.

now he was hopped up on dev’s energy drinks. “come on… simon.” he said with a glint in his eye.

snow groaned. “that’s not fair.” he said, but he still pulled himself out of bed. last night had been very educational. baz learned snow liked being called simon. he learned simon kissed expertly and passionately. he learned he liked the feel of another bloke’s hands on his arse (who was he kidding, he had always known this). most importantly, he had learned simon liked him back. as in like liked him back. when the sun had started to rise, he had panicked and thought simon would regret it all. he had tried to wiggle out of his arms, but simon just clung onto him and murmured, “stay darling.” baz doubted simon would ever remember saying it, but he would hold that memory in his heart forever.

now he was pretty certain simon wanted this. wanted them. he would still need constant reminders and displays of affection though. he was a needy needy person. dev compared him to a cat sometimes.

“okay i’m ready.” simon said, breaking baz out of his thoughts. “why am i up at… 6:15 in the morning, dear baz?”

baz grinned and pulled his love close to him. “i’ll show you.”

at the drug store, baz bought simon his own chapstick. “they’re matching.” simon said, happy and soft in a way only a sleepy person could be.

baz smiled softly at him and paid. when he went to exit the store, simon tugged on his sleeve.

“there’s no one but the half asleep cashier here.” simon said.

baz raised an eyebrow. “so?”

simon grinned. “wanna stay a bit?”

they didn’t do anything but talk. they found a secluded aisle and discussed their lives. baz thought it was the most magical thing that had ever happened to him. and he went to magic boarding school.


End file.
